The Worst of Times
by hiddensidekick
Summary: Karkats been with Terezi for almost a year, both very happy. Only problem is Karkats friend, Gamzee. What happens when he hurts Terezi beyond belief? Karkat has to deal with the loss of his friend and the love of his life (HumanStuck.Wanted to write a sad Fic. FINISHED)
1. Chapter 1: Last Few Moments

"KANKRI! COME HERE FOR A SECOND!" Called out the small teen sitting in his dark room, only the dim desk lamp to lighten the area. Walking in sighing came in his brother. Removing his reading glasses and tucking in the text book he was reading under his arm he flipped the light switch on and walked to his brothers side.

"Karkat, you shouldn't strain your eyes like that... You'll go blind." He said looking over the hunched over being that was his brother.

"Yeah yeah sure whatever. Just help me out real quick! Can you proofread this for me?" He shoved a piece of paper into Kankri's hand and stared at him waiting for him to read it.

"And since when have you taken a particular care in you school work? I mean I'm more then happy to help you of course but this is-" Kankri stopped almost immanently after sliding his glasses on and actually seeing what was written on the paper.

" You're joking, right?" Responded Kankri, looking over his glasses holding the paper. On it was lines and stanzas in very crude handwriting, which is supposedly Karkats neatest.

"No I'm not. Read the poem and tell me if its any good. Please Kankri it's important!" Pleaded Karkat from his desk chair. Shaking his head, Kankri went and quietly skimmed the paper, squinting at times when a word was particularly hard to read.

"You truly are a hopeless romantic I hope you relize this" said Kankri handing that paper back to his brother.

"Just tell me if its good! I gotta give it to her before the end of the month" responded Karkat looking over his own work. Sighing Kankri shook his head.

"How do you intend on having her read it? Your girlfriend is BLIND REMEMBER?" Shouted an agitated Kankri.

"NO! I NEVER REALIZED THAT MY GIRLFRIEND OF A YEAR WAS BLIND! THANK YOU FOR THAT NOW RELEVANT INFORMATION!" Snapped Karkat, getting red in the face. Rolling his eyes, Kankri stood up and started toward the bedroom door.

"Im sure Terezi will love it by the way" he smirked as he left with a sly smile on his face. Groaning Karkat returned to the poem in front of him. Picking up his phone he saw the time. 10:30. Still early for him. Going to his phone he started clicking away.

To: Terezi

From: Karkat

You home from that stupid party yet? You know Vriska's parties alway suck! Wanna say why you went again?

Putting his phone down he walked forward to his DVD collection. Movies help him think. Just after picking one out he heard his phone buzz.

From: Terezi

To: Karkat

Thats exactly why. Cause they suck...wouldn't want Vriska to realize how bad they suck. Would break her cold, shallow heart. Just doing my job as a good samaritan! Though a few other people actually showed up. Johns here! And Gamzee. Ugh :[

Groaning Karkat quickly texted her back.

To: Terezi

From: Karkat

Try not to kill him please. If he pisses you off get the fuck outta there. You know how he is.

He walked to his laptop but didn't pay attention to the movie much but instead was to invested in the texts he got one after another from Terezi.

To: Karkat

From: Terezi

BLARG! You act like he wont piss me off eventually! How about you ditch what ever boring Rom-Com your watching and come over? We know your always the LIFE of the party HEHE!

To: Terezi

From: Karkat

Fuck that shit! Kankri would probably catch me and give me some kind of lecture or another about how dangerous it is to go out at night.

To: Karkat

From: Terezi

UUUUGH How are you the only cool guy in your family? Your dad isn't to bad i guess but STIIIILLL. Please Karkat? Gamzee is really starting to make me uneasy. You know he's alway slightly less creepy when your here to keep him in check.

To:Terezi

From: Karkat

Yeah i know...I'm sorry...But seriously just leave! Last thing I need is to get a call saying I need to drive my ass to the other side of town to break up a fight between you two!

To: Karkat

From: Terezi

Yeah okay. Mind if I stop by your house then? Told mom I would be home till 12 So.

From: Kakat

To: Terezi

Yeah I guess thats alright. Just hurry over though. I'll See you soon then

To: Karkat

From: Terezi

Thanks CrabCakes ;]

To: Terezi

From: Karkat

Anytime Crazy.

Tossing his phone down on his desk he looked at the poem. It was still kinda shitty. Picking up the phone he dialed a number and waited for an answer.

"You rang?" answered the almost monotone voice of one Dave Strider

"Im only asking you for help cause I'm insanely desperate understand?" replied Karkat, his pencil in hand.

"Oh shit man am I honored! What can the fabulous D-Strides do for my favorite asshole"

"Im writing a poem...its for Terezi. Think you can help me out?"

"I don't know man! Im I worthy of helping you with your sad love life?"

"Its not sad! Its perfectly well thank you! In fact our 1 year is coming up! So shut up and help me with this!" Retorted Karkat feeling his rage grow. Hearing Dave laugh in the other line caused him to instantly roll his eyes.

"Okay man, you've come to the right place. Now get ready for Dave Striders School of Rhyme"

After about 30 minutes of the two going back and forth between rhymes and words, Karkat finally decided it was worthy enough of Terezi's ears.

"Okay Dave, even with all your stupid advice i think this will do. Terezi's gonna be here so iI gotta ask you to fuck off"

"Oh shit! Is Karkat gonna get some action tonight?" snickered the blonde boy.

"NO STRIDER NOW REALLY FUCK OFF!" Screamed a blushing Karkat

"GET IT IN!" Yelled Strider in between laughs. Karkat hung up instantly and threw down his phone. Seeing that it was 11 he went out to the living room to look out for Terezi. He sat in front of the window and looked out, keeping an eye out for a bright head of hair and a big white dog. Come 11:20 Karkat got worried. when 11:30 came he was border line panicking. Rushing to his phone he dialed her number.

"Terezi? Terezi where the fu-"

"Um, Who is this?" It wasnt Terezi. It was a strange man. In the background was the sound of sirens and barking dogs and people.

"This is Karkat Vantas. Who the fuck are you and why do you have my girlfriends phone?" his voice high and panicked

"I'm Officer Kennedy...and kid, I don't know how to say this but...you just identified your girlfriends body"


	2. Chapter 2: Tears and Sympathy

"Terezi Pyrope, age 17 was found dead at 11:20 last night by a group of teenagers when they heard the sound of a barking dog, assumed to be her seeing eye dog." The news reporter read off the sheet of paper and looked at the camera. Karkat sat there looking at the TV. There was no way in hell he was gonna set foot in that school. He didn't know why he sat and watched this. Hearing the the footsteps walk inside the living room he didn't look up. Karkat stayed curled up in the giant blanket. He wasn't cold, he was mad and devistated. Staring into space he barley acknowledged his father when he sat down. He only showed signs of life when he took the remote and shut off the TV.

"I was watching that" he said, voice groggy and cracked from the long night of yelling and crying.

"Now your not. And I expect it to stay that way." replied his dad.

"Shouldn't you be at school? You have mindless drones to teach" grumbled Karkat pulling the blanket closer.

"I think family emergency qualifies for a sick day"

"She wasn't your family"

"No but you are...and you shouldn't be alone right now"

"Well thats what I want. To be alone!" he yelled as loud as he could. He looked up to see the tired eyes of his dad, who was up all night to try and comfort him. after talking to the cop on the phone last night Karkat couldn't control himself. Screaming through the tears and feeling like his world exploded before his eyes. He was so focused on crying he didn't even realize the presence of his father and brother come to comfort him, not that it worked.

"Karkat...you know I cant do that" said the older Vantas. placing his habd on his sons shoulder he sighed shaking his head. Curling the blanket closer around himself to shield himself from the outside. He wanted to be alone. But he heard his phone buzzing all the way from the other room, obviously from concerned friends that wanted to ask him if he was okay, saying that they where there for him. Like he wanted that. None of their pity was gonna help him. It wasn't gonna bring Terezi back. Fix what happened. All it would do is remind him that he was really alone. All they showed was pity for him.

"Karkat, Karkat you should rest." whispered his father, breaking the silence. Karkat didn't even look up he just nodded. Dragging the blanket behind him he walked away. He shuffled past Kankri, who just escaped his room. His whole family didn't need to be here. They where wasting their time. Stumbling into his dark room he flopped down in his bed. He wanted to sleep. But each time he closed his eyes the image of blank shining eyes and red hair came before him. He just kept seeing her. Pulling the blanket over his head as an escape. Another blip from his phone brought him back. Reaching over, he looked at it with uncaring eyes. At least 6 messeges. And about 30 missed calls

_To: Karkat_

_From: Sollux_

_KK! KK Listen. I called you 2 times and I guess your avoiding outside interaction like an idiot! Jesus..Karkat...get a hold of your self and give my call before I kill you_

_...actually no...scratch that...I'm just worried about your dumbass!_

_To: Karkat_

_From:Eridan_

_KAR! Karkat listen to me! Pick up your god damn phone and talk to me! The last thing I want is you to rot away in your pig sty of a room! I know I'm probably annoying you but i could care less about that right now cause you need some one to talk to after all this. Please...we are all really worried._

_To: Karkat_

_From: Kanaya_

_Karkat? Its Kanaya. but you probably knew that...Anyway. We are all terribly sorry about this and i understand if you don't message any of us right now. You can use some time for yourself. But please take a moment to let us know your alive at least? That would be much appreciated._

_To: Karkat_

_From: John_

_Um hey Karkat...i know you practically hate me (still don't know why) but i hope you can put that aside and let me say I'm sorry about Terezi. I might've not been as close to her as you where but i still thought she was pretty cool...other then that time she nearly stabbed me over some juice...BUT ANY WAY. If you wanna...stop hating me for a while and talk to me im open for that! I mean...i was one of the last ones to see her alive and all..._

_To: Karkat_

_From: Dave_

_Dude imma cut the bullshit and say...this fucking blows...especially after those sweet rhymes you wrote for her. But I'll stop with my "cool kid" act and actually try and be sympathetic. Im sorry Karkat...from the bottom of my stoic heart. Hit me up when you crawl outta the misery hole._

_To: Karkat_

_From: Jade_

_OMG KARKAT! I hope im not bothering you but Feferi just told me the news! Please be okay! I can't belive this happened to Terezi :C_

_To: Karkat _

_From: Nepeta_

_Karkat? I get that you don't like talking to me but... please just remember that Terezi was my friend to? If you don't reply i understand but...don't hurt yourself okay?_

He sat and stared at his phone. He was numb and felt tears stinging his tired eyes. He wanted to die. Just curl up and sleep an never wake up. Tossing his phone to the ground he stared out in the darkness of his room. They haven't found what sick person did this to Terezi. He didn't even know how she died. She shouldn't have had to suffer. She didn't deserve that. She didn't deserve to even die! And yet she's gone. Slipped away from him. Digging his face into his knees he let the tears flow. They stung his tired eyes and ran down his raw face. He ignored them and let the tears flow. He hated crying. Like they could help anything. This wasn't gonna save her. She shouldn't need saving...but he was to late to try anyway


	3. Chapter 3: Avoiding the Obvious

"Karkat, you don't need to go back... I could let you stick around for another few days!" Coaxed Mr. Vantas, leaning on the kitchen counter. Karkat sat and shoved his books into his bag and shook his head.

"I've missed to many days thanks to hospital visits... And me sitting here with my thumb up my ass isn't doing anything for me so forget it!" Karkat flung his bag on his back.

" If you say so... If you wanna come home I'll send Kankri over to pick you up" the older Vantas took a sip if his coffee and watched as his son get got ready. Karkat just grunted, not even caring at this point.

"Now you can also just spend the day with Ms Leijon if you want to you know"

"I'm not hanging out with your girlfriend. No thanks" groaned Karkat shooting a look at his dad

"She's also your school counseler. Which means she there to help you"

"Yeah sure whatever you say dad" Karkat waved at his dad and walked out the door.

Walking into school that day all Karkat wanted was to be givin a few looks then be forgotten. No interaction at all. Unfortunately Sollux and Eridan wouldn't have that.

"Karkat! Have you never heard of a god damn phone you fucking moron?" Yelled out Eridan, looming over Karkat.

"Yes I have and I'm sorry if me returning your obnoxious calls and text is ruining your precious little bubble but I've been kinda busy!" He glared at Eridan and tried to get up to stare him in the face before being pulled back by Sollux.

"What fish breath here is saying is that we where worried! You know. 3 days with out a word of you. And after the who-" Sollux stopped mid sentence when Karkat shoved him aside to continue to his first class of the day.

"I told you we should've left him alone but did you listen NO!" Karkat heard Sollux but didnt care to listen to another one of their arguments.

Turning into his first period class he felt eyes looking and heard the whispers. But he ignored them knowing what they where saying.

"Poor Karkat"

"His girlfriends dead"

"I feel so bad for him"

"Its such a shame"

"As if the poor kid didn't have enough to worry about"

Trying hard to ignore it he sat down in the back of the class and looked at the ceiling. He was sure that there was some lesson about to start but he didnt care. He sat and ignored the quick glances of pity his class mates gave him.

Ignoring his way through 3 periods of school he only really snapped back to reality when he heard the loud speaker sound to make an announcement.

"May all of Junior class please make heir way down to the commons for a brief meeting" Sounded the voice of the Vice Principal, Dr. Scratch

The large crowd of teenagers shuffled their way to the commons. They all sat at the benches lined up near the windows or at tables whispering about what this meeting was about, thought they all probably knew.

Standing toward the front of the commons was Dr. Scratch, looking as if he had about a million more important things to do then waste his time talking to a room full of hormones and sweat. Standing up front was Ms. Leijon, her long dirty blonde hair falling down to the middle of her back. She probably spent hours trying to make it look presentable but eventually gave up. She watched over the brim of her glasses, looking sad and deep in thought. Spotting out of the corner of her eye her own daughter, Nepeta, walk in she made a feeble attempt to smile at her. The younger girl just nodded, her eyes dark and tired. She wasn't walking with the usual kick in her step.

When the last of the students filed in and found a seat Dr. Scratch cleared his throat loudly and began in a monotone and uncaring voice, not sympathetic in the slightest.

"Now as plenty of you might have heard from either the news or from your peers, Alternia High School has suffered a great and unexpected loss. Terezi Pyrope was found dead about three days ago" He bellowed, his expression unchanging, more like he was talking about new locker arrangements then a dead girl. Allowing the students whisper for a few seconds he continued.

"Now this may very well be an emotional time for plenty of you but i would just like to inform you that the guidance office is always open. Ms. Leijon here will take you in and try and help you all" he said motioning to her.

"I know this loss has personally effected us as a whole and I just hope that if you feel like you need some one to talk to I'm here to talk with you and help you however I can." she said, reciting the steyrotypical speech all counselors say every time a "traumatic event" happens. Karkat was sitting far in the back but could almost feel the green eyes of Ms Leijon staring at him in some sort of silent way to say "That was for you". Karkat looked down at the ground and avoided eye contact with the tall woman standing upfront.

"This wont go away anytime soon for some of you. It may not go away at all for a few of you. But we can help you adjust and learn to accept that this has happened."

Accept? You accept you failed a test. You accept that your not going to the concert with your friends that you've been planning to go to for weeks. You don't just accept the death of the person you intended to spend your life with. You cant just accept that she was murdered and that they still haven't found the sick fuck that did this to her. Karkat wasnt going to just accept this, no. The solemn silence made him uneasy and he glared out at any one who starred at him. Nobody at near him, choosing to avoid him in fear of his rage exploding. Out of the corner of his eye he saw his group of friends. All of them looking sadly at him and frowning. They where all accounted for. Except for Terezi, and for some reason, Gamzee.

Karkat didn't think much of it seeing as how Gamzee was probably ditching to get high somewhere in town. Pushing his friend aside he went back to "listening" to the two adults in the room.

"If you wish to stick around an talk your more then welcome to stay. If not your free to leave." Sighed Ms. Leijon. Karkat instantly took this and stormed out the commons along with the rest of the junior class that didn't give to shit about what had happened.

"Karkat! " he groaned and stopped to turn and see Nepeta with Kanaya in tow.

"Karkat you really should stick around you know" insisted Kanaya, standing but a few inches taller then Karkat.

"Why? Join the great big feeling jam stating the obvious?" argued Karkat looking up at Kanaya with cold eyes.

"Karkat...we know this isn't easy. And you bottling this all up wont do any thing for you." piped in Nepeta. Karkat took notice of the lack of cat puns and sighed.

"Forget it Nepeta. You moms nice and all but im not gonna sit around and talk about how I feel about this. Cause its obvious! Im fucking furious. Need any more expliantion?" He snarled at her, sounding more vicious then he intended. Nepetas tired eyes looked down and she sighed. She was to worn out. Karkat backed away form he girls and shook his head.

"I gotta go. See you around. " he muttered turning from his friends. He stormed away and made it to his 4 period class. He didn't want this. All he ever got was pity and he didn't need this right now. All he want was to be alone. Screw this. He sat and suffered in silence, his face blank and with out emotion.

When the final bell rang Karkat expected to finally be left alone and be aloud to walk home. But when a bright red Corolla drove up to the front door Karkat just groaned as he slid in next to his brother.

"Figured ill give you a ride from school today" Kankri said as Karkat buckled up.

"Im upset and angry not crippled" He snapped back

"Yeah well lets get home"

after the 3 minute drive home he ignored his dads welcome and went to his room, door slammed behind him. And there he stayed fro the rest of the evening.

**AN: Hello all you nice people looking at this shit! About time i talk to you all i suppose! So this is my first multi-chapter fic so it might be kinda shitty. And that mention of hospital visits at the beginning of the chapter is going to be explained in due time! I do hope you can leave some reviews and constructive criticism! I do like improving on my work so any advice will do! If you have and comments and questions do go to my tumblr (HiddenSideKick) and ask away! Ill be trying to update as often as possible since schools coming to a close. Thanks for the views and follows so far :)**


	4. Chapter 4: Pain Suffered, Pain Shared

"Hey, um, Karkat?" Spoke a cold voice from behind Karkat's hunched form. As he turned from his lunch and looked up, his eyes met with the sight of a raggedy haired girl.

"Vriska? And what do I owe this WONDERFUL surprise visit?" barked Karkat. He and Vriska were never exactly on the same page. It was his second day back to school, and the looks of pity seemed to ease away a bit. He had hoped to be alone, and he made it until now without someone asking him how he was or asking some other mundane question. And then there's the spider-bitch herself, Vriska Serket.

"Wow, rude! Listen...can I, talk to you for a bit?" she asked in a low tone. She looked uncomfortable, like she had no idea what she was doing.

"I have a feeling that if I say fuck off, you'll stick around either way." he said looking away and taking a sip from his can of soda. Vriska sat down in the seat next to him and sighed. Running her good arm through her hair, she stared off in space as if she was looking for the word she wanted to say in the air around her. Her opposite arm hung limply at her side. She lost it a while ago in a freak car crash, along with the sight in her other eye. The same crash lost Terezi her eyesight. Finally, she turned to Karkat and waited for him to return the eye contact.

"Listen here, shrimp. You know I'm complete shit at the whole "sharing and caring" business. But I'm gonna give it a shot." she said. Karkat took a good look at her; the one eye he could see was red and bloodshot.

"But...Terezi and I were close...we were practically sisters. And...fuck, I don't know. I feel kinda responsible I guess? I knew I shouldn't have let her leave my house alone. But I did feel like a god damn moron!" she explained, her voice cracking as she spoke.

"So, what I'm trying to say is...sorry, I guess? I'm probably just sorry for myself...I seem to always cause some sort of fuck-up for her, don't I?" she sighed, staring into space again. Karkat sat there and looked at her in silence. He could've sworn that if he squinted he could see some tears form in her eyes.

"Don't cry, it doesn't do shit for anyone." he muttered, looking away from her briefly.

"Who says I'm crying?!" snapped Vriska.

"The damn water falling from your eyes, dumbass." he retorted. Vriska looked surprised as if she just noticed the tears. Wiping the tears away on her sleeve and clearing her throat, she lifted her head up.

"Shut up, Karkat." she muttered.

"Are you done barfing out your emotions now?" he complained to her. Shooting him a dirty scowl, she groaned.

"God Karkat! Just for once show some other emotion other utterly pissed off and hormonal! But if I'm just here wasting your time I'll just take myself someplace else" she snapped and stood up in a huff. She barged through the glass doors of the cafeteria. Karkat took a glance at the other table where Kanaya sat. She must have saw what had just happened. Shaking her head at him she stood up and chased after Vriska.

"See ya spider queen" he muttered to himself. Pulling his hood over his head, Karkat laid down on the table. He probably did sound like a complete dick but he could care less at the moment. He sat there in the darkness and didn't even bother thinking about anything

Come the end of the day, Karkat was more than ready to go home and continue ignoring the outside world. He was just about to leave when he remembered he left his hoodie in his locker. Hoping that Kankri wasn't going to do another random act of "kindness" he turned back away from the exit and went through the halls. They were practically empty except a few stragglers roaming around. Reaching his locker, he quickly put in the combination, grabbed his hoodie and slammed it closed.

He started back toward his exit and stopped at the front of a hall way. He heard something all too familiar...it was the sound of crying. Standing there dumbfounded, he looked down the hall way and saw an unrecognizable figure hunched up. For some unfathomable reason, Karkat started walking toward it. He told himself curiosity killed the cat, but he kept going. Getting closer to the hunched up figure, she became more recognizable. And speaking of cats...

"Nepeta?"

The dark blonde's head shot up, olive eyes full of tears. She was surprised, not expecting to be discovered.

"K-karkat?" she stammered. She shrank back slightly, as if she was scared. Crouching down to her level Karkat softened his face to look less angry.

"What the fuck happened? Are you ok-" he couldn't even finish before the small girl lunged at him, nearly sending him flying. She was clinging on to him like her life depended on it. He sat there confused and shocked, as Nepeta sobbed into his chest.

"I miss her! Why, why, why, why?!" she chanted into his chest. Realizing what was going on he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her.

"Nepeta...shit, are you okay?"

"No..No I'm not." she sniffled and backed up from him. He sat there and looked at her, her face red and tear-stained.

"Terezi was the one of the only peopele who didn't see me as a complete weirdo! Even you all think I'm a complete nut that only talks about shipping and cats and that kinda stuff! But not her! A-and now I'm practically alone again!" I know Equius is still my friend but he's not her! Nobody is her! I don't know what I'm supposed to do now! She was my friend Karkat!" she curled up sobbing again. Karkat tried hard to figure out to find the words but nothing came forward.

"Yeah I know...I miss her too." was all that came to mind. For a while they sat there in the quiet hall, the only sound made was that of Nepeta's sobs.

"Hey...Wanna go find your mom? I kinda feel like shit since I can't do much..." he explained to her. Receiving a simple nod, Karkat helped Nepeta up and lead her in the direction of Ms. Leijon's office.

"You know, if some asshole starts picking on you, you have the ability to knock them out for an entire week." he said, trying to break the silence. Shaking her head, she sighed.

"Nah. I know I could, but...it just wouldn't be worth it." she sniffed.

"If you say so." he mumbled, walking into Ms. Leijon's office. Walking through the small waiting room, he knocked on the door before entering, only to notice another person sitting there...That person being Dave Strider.

"Oh. Umm, sorry. I just..." started Karkat, and Nepeta poked her head through the door and sighed.

"H-hey, Mom." she whispered, trying hard not to be rude.

"Oh dear... It's alright. Dave and I were just about done. Right?" she asked, turning to the blonde boy in front of her.

"Yeah. I guess so." Dave stood up and stretched.

"Come back if you need anything." she said, following him to the door. As the boy left, Nepeta rushed inside. She sat on the couch and held on to herself, as if trying to keep warm.

"I kinda just found her sitting in the hallway." explained Karkat, avoiding eye contact with the tall woman.

"Thank you for bringing her over for me, Karkat." said the counselor with a sigh. Looking back at him with a concerned frown, she placed her hand on his shoulder.

"How you holding up, by the way?" she asked. Karkat jerked his shoulder back and looked away.

"I'm not your problem. Focus on the one on the couch, why don't you?" he protested. Sighing, Ms. Leijon nodded.

"Thank you again, Karkat." she said, watching the boy leave and close the door. Karkat looked at the tile floor of the hall way until the sudden presence of Dave broke his concentration. It was almost like he came out of now where, and startled Karkat.

"Jesus, Strider! The last person who needs a jump scare is me!" he shouted at the blonde. Dave didn't seem surprised in the slightest, since he became accustomed to the smaller boy's outbursts of rage.

"Not my fault that you don't pay attention to your surroundings, man. That's gonna get you killed one day." laughed Dave. Rolling his eyes, Karkat groaned.

"Whatever. What were you doing in the crazy cat lady's office?" questioned Karkat.

"Using the old Strider charm on her. I think I almost broke through to her; maybe next time I'll actually get her number." smirked Dave. Karkat stared at him, disgusted.

"Dude, that's disgusting! She could become my step-mom any day now! Oh god, you fucking shit-wipe!" snapped Karkat.

"Wow, Karkles. Three years of friendship and I thought I finally got to the point where I can joke about hitting on your dad's girlfriend. I guess I was horribly mistaken." whined Strider jokingly.

"Ugh. Seriously though, I never took you as the 'go talk to the school counselor about my feelings' type of guy. I thought you were too cool for feelings." Karkat responded to his friend.

"Yeah? Well I never pictured you as the kind of kid that would rescue crying furries in the hallway." responded Dave.

"She's not a furry, dumbass. She just likes cats, that's all." defended Karkat. "And do I seem that much of an asshole? I couldn't just let the poor girl sit in an empty hallway and cry by herself!" The two friends left the school building and stopped at the bottom of the stairs.

"As of late? Yeah, you do seem like that kind of asshole." replied Dave, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Excuse me?"

"I mean it, dude. You're an angry little shit all the time. But at least you give a fuck about your friends, we can give you that much credit" explained Dave. Karkat just stared at him. "I get it, alright? You fucking loved Terezi to the moon and back. But there's one thing your dense skull isn't getting."

"And what is that?" Karkat glared at Dave, preparing to fight him if he had to.

"You forget that you're not the only one who lost her." Dave said in his usual flat tone of voice. Easing his shoulders, Karkat stood there realizing how right Dave was. Terezi had so many friends. Practically everyone loved her, one way or another. He wasn't the only one who missed her. His whole group did.

"And with that epiphany, I'll leave you to think about it." said Dave, turning away from Karkat.

"Yeah...I'll talk to you later." mumbled Karkat, more to himself than as a farewell to his friend. Turning in the opposite direction, Karkat thought about his friends. Nepeta and Terezi were friends since grade school, and they lived only a block away from each other. Dave and Terezi... they used to have a thing back in 8th grade, but once high school started, they became just friends. And Vriska said so herself; the two of them fought and cared for each other like sisters. Entering his house, he dumped his stuff and scrambled to his computer. He had not touched it since he got the news. He quickly logged into his Skype and looked at the group chat he was in with all his friends. He stared at it and skimmed through the missed messages, not really absorbing them. He typed something up real quick, about a paragraph long, only to quickly erase it all. He sent a single word without context and left it there. He walked away from the computer and let the single word say it all.

_Karkat Vantas: Sorry_

**AN: SO this chapter want originally gonna happen till i was recommended to show some of what the other characters where going through so thanks for that! And thanks to my lovely Moirail for becoming my second pair of eyes and looking through this mess for me. But yeah chapter 4 is here and just wait for shapter 5 now i guess ^^**


	5. Chapter 5: Dreams and Nightmares

**AN: finally managed to proofread so this chapter should be easier to read now! Expect another chapter soon guys! Thanks for reading and waiting!~ HSK**

**"**Karkat. Phone for you" Called Mr. Vantas from the kitchen. Getting up and taking the phone he leaned against the counter.

"Hey Vantas Jr." sounded the voice from the other line. Karkat was used to it yelling at the top of her lungs but he recognized the voice.

"Hey Latula...how you been?" He asked. Karkats interactions with Terezi older sister usually ended in him cursing at a gaming console. But she was nice enough he supposed.

"Heh, not so radical as you could assume." she sighed. Karkat nodded to himself, remembering how much Terezi looked up to Latula. He never knew why but they where pretty close.

"Look, so I figured somebody should keep you in the loop of...well whats happening and all. And that person is me." she explained to him.

"I appreciate it really but La-" he started to protest before being interupted.

"Shut up Karkat ," she sighed. "You honestly deserve to know...man if only you knew how much she would talk about you. Got kinda sick of it!"

"And now you know how we felt every time you talked about Spazz McGee!" he responded.

"Watch yourself shorty. So any way. I just wanted to let you know you have the privilege of speaking at...at the funeral"

Karkats heart dropped. He forgot that was something he would have to deal with. And now he had the responsibility of talking at this thing. Standing there he was silent for a few moments.

"W-when is it? he stammered. He looked up to see his dad looking in on him, leaning against the door way.

"They haven't given us custody of her...um body yet" he heard Latula get choked up for a moment. Sighing Karkat shook his head.

"Im sure they'll find him soon who ever it was. " he said solemnly. "How's your mom handling?"

"Oh you know. Utterly bat shit insane. They aren't working hard enough to her liking. She keeps trying to pull the 'County Prosecutor' card on them but they wont budge." sighed Latula.

"Sorry to hear. But any way...um I gotta think about your offer...for the...yeah" he replied. He couldnt even stand to say the word funeral. It was surreal. He honestly always thought that between the two of them he would be the first to be put 6 feet under.

"Thanks Nubs. It'll mean a lot. Now I gotta go, somebody else is calling. See ya" she said quickly.

"Yeah...sure talk to you later" he said before hanging up. Placing down the phone, he looked up at his father.

"They want me of all people to give a eulogy at her...funeral" he muttered. The older man just nodded.

"Well of course. You did know her the best. It would only make sense." he reasoned to his son.

"No you dont get it dad! I... just cant!" He started to breathe heavy. His heart pounded and he felt his blood pump.

"Karkat! Karkat calm down." fretted his father. Nodding Karkat worked to breathe slower. He got his breathing steady but he still felt his chest pounding.

"I'm...I'm good I'm okay" he blurtted out. Sitting at the table he breathed. His dad sat close to him and placed his and on his younger sons back.

"You're going to be okay Karkat...I promise"

Glaring at his father he barked. "How do you know? Im still such an emotional wreck! I cant do this shit I really cant." he placed his head in his arms and worked hard to calm himself down.

"You dont have to you know..." suggested his father. Lifting his head up he shook it.

"No...no I need to...Terezi would probably call me a wimp or something." he stammered. Smiling a bit Mr. Vantas sighed.

"Just head to your room alright? Take it easy for a while. Got it?" requested his father. Nodding he walked away and closed his door. He sat on his bed and dragged his laptop over with him. He knew this wasnt what his dad meant by take it easy but oh well. Opening up some music he sat and listened to if for a while. He looked at his table and noticed some thing. Picking it up he remembered. The poem. For their anniversary. Looking at the calendar he realized that it was in a little over a week. Looking over it he frowned. God this was so full of cheese. Typical from some one whos watched as many rom-coms as him. Folding it again, he put it on his bedside table, right next to the framed photo of him and Terezi. He remembered this. It was sophmore year. That stupid spring formal. He wouldnt have gone if Terezi didn't drag him. They had been dating for about a month or so by then. In the picture he had this stupid half smile, which really was his only smile. Terezi though. Terezi always had a smile the stopped envery one in their tracks. She had this lovely red dress on. He stared at it for a while. remembering the evening in great detail.

_"Oh come on Karkles! You dont expect me to dance by myself now do you?" Pleaded the girl taking hold of her dates hand and tugging at him._

_"Terezi you know very well im here against my will. You PHYSICALLY dragged me here." he argued. He took a look at the blank eyes as she pouted._

_"Wow I must have the least romantic boyfriend EVER!" she groaned._

_"Oh hell no you know thats not true!" he retorted. He took pride of how romantic he thought he was, though Terezi clearly thought other wise._

_"It most defiantly is! For some one who LOVEs rom-coms you don't know the first thing about swooping a girl of her feet!"_

_"No! I cant sweep you off your feet cause I'm to short and I would fall on my fucking ass if I tried."_

_"Oh so your calling me fat then?" she said, fake insulted. Karkat groaned._

_"No, Terezi. I'm not." he said annoyed. Sighing deeply Terezi flopped down on the seat next to him and frowned deeply. Looking at her he sighed._

_"Dont be mad at me Terezi." he pleaded. He hated seeing her frown._

_"Oh no! I get it. You don't think I can dance cause I'm blind." she pestered him_

_"You can't be serious"_

_"Im so serious Karkat! Its all over your face"_

_"You cant see my face"_

_"See! There you go again! Making fun of a blind girl! You should be ashamed!" she cackled at him knowing she had succeeded in annoying her boyfriend. Rolling his eyes he sighed._

_"Alright all you couples come on up with your partner and dance like its your last night together!" called out the DJ flipping on a new song. Karkat recognized the song almost instantly._

_"Only Exception? Strange song to have on." he mumbled to himself. Looking up at Terezi he frowned. Standing up he gently took her by the hands and guided her to the dance floor._

_"Oh really now? Why the change of heart Mr. Vantas" she asked smiling. Shrugging Karkat smiled back._

_"You are the only exception to the dancing I suppose"_

_"You giant cheese ball oh my god" she laughed as they swayed with the song. Her hands wrapped around his neck and his hands on her waist. It felt almost perfect._

_"Are you humming to this song" she smirked at her date. Karkat blushed a bit noticing her was._

_"Oh shush... Watch out" he said guiding her from keeping her from bumping into another dancing couple, that couple being Kanaya and Rose. They simplely nodded as they went back to dancing._

_"My hero" she laughed, leaning her forehead against his. And that's how they stayed for the rest of the song. Slowly swaying along with the song. Karkat just staring up at the wonderful girl he was with. If only she could see how he was looking at her. Like she was the most beautiful girl in the room. Cause to him she was. He never understood how he finally got with her, but was grateful for it every day. The song came to a close and the two stayed up there, arms still wrapped around one another. Raising his head to kiss her, her eyes grew wide with shock, not seeing it coming, clearly. It was like every stupid movie hes seen, only better cause it was with Terezi, the girl of his dreams._

_"You huge cheese ball" she laughed at him_

_"That may be so but your stuck with me." he said, hooking his arm around hers as he lead her to their table._

_"Yeah I guess so" she sighed. Laughing he ran his fingers through his messy hair._

_"Ill never understand what you saw in me" he muttered to himself_

_"Nothing...I saw nothing" she smirked_

_"You know thats not what I fucking met, Jesus Christ!' he yelled over her cackles._

Waking up with a start Karkat started panting. Just a dream. A dream of a memory. Taking a hold of his phone he saw the time. 12:00. Nearly right after picking it up the ping of a text message sounded. Who the fuck was up this late? Dave.

_To: Karkat_

_From: Dave_

_Get your ass to the TV and turn on the news ASAP!_

Confused he rushed to the TV. He snatched the remote out of Kankri's hand, ignoring the protests from his older brother as he turned to the local news station. Seeing the news lady stand outside with a coat on he listened to what she had to say.

"After about a week of investigating there was finally a breach in the Terezi Pyrope murder case" Started the women. Karkats heart beat quickened. Kankri called out to their father. Soon the three males where crowded around their television.

"It seems that one of her class mates, who from sources said the two had never gotten along, was behind the death of the young girl."

No...it couldn't be. Not in a million years. Not him.

"Arrested today, 17 year old Gamzee Makara was escorted out of his family home, for charges of murder."

Right there was an old school photo of him. Hair flying every which way and a dopey smile.

No. Gamzee. Gamzee was Karkats friend. His best friend. He couldnt! He..he was Gamzee! NO, no, no. Karkat heart was beating a million miles a minute. His lungs tightened and stomach turned. This wasn't possible. He wouldnt believe it. All the blood in his body was pumping faster then his heart could handle.

The last thing he remembered was that stupid dopey smile before it all went black.


	6. Chapter 6: Awoken

Waking up and seeing the bright room it took Karkat less then a second to realize he was in a hospital bed...again. Groaning as he sat up He was confused to see Dave instead of Terezi whose usually there during one of his many frequent visits. Then he remembered.

"The Vantas Family curse strike again?" he asked not even looking up from the magazine. It was was common knowledge that eachof the Vantas boys had something wrong with their blood. Mr. Vantas had some high blood pressure. Not horrible but pretty bad. Kankri had a classic case of diabetes. Got it real young. Then there's Karkat. Some thing called sickle cell disease. Makes it hard to transport oxygen to his organs. So passing out when ever he got over excited was almost normal.

"Yeah...Anxiety and Sickle cell...bad combo." he said rubbing his eye with the palms of his hands. Then he remembered. The news. Gamzee.

"Is it true?" he asked looking down at the blanket.

"Yup. I fucking warned you about the juggalo man." Dave said finally putting down the magazine. Karkat brought his knees up to his chest and just stared out into space. He knew that Terezi and Gamzee of them hated each other...but not enough for one to kill the other. Its been like this since freshman year. Nobody quite knew the whole story, not even Karkat. But what ever happened made hanging out with them almost unbearable. Considering howclose Karkat was with both of them. And now it seemed he lost both his best friend and his girlfriend an a matter of a few days.

"How?" was all that was said. Dave's eyebrow appeared out from behind his sunglasses.

"You really don't wanna kno-"

"Fucking tell me now Strider. How. Did. He. Kill. Her?" he asked glaring at him violently. He almost wanted to lunge and shake the answer out of him but he knew that wouldn't do any thing.

"Since your in the hospital I''ll comply" he breathed sitting up.

"Found this huge plank of wood...one swing did her in. Probably would've killed the mutt too...but he didn't for some stupid reason" he finished. Karkat remember her dog, Pyralsprite. He was always convinced the dog hated him.

"Would be like him...so that means...?"

"Being tried as an adult without bail" responded Dave in a flat tone of voice, as if this wasnt a big deal or anything. Digging his face into his hands, Karkat left himself alone to his thoughts. Him and Gamzee where friends since 2nd grade. And now...he killed her. Terezi. Karkat just couldn't wrap his head about it.

"Dont pass out again man...just breathe alright?" Karkat felt Dave's hand on his back before looking up. Nodding he sighed.

"Um, yeah okay...wheres my dad?" He asked finally calmed down.

"Outside talking to the doctor." responded Dave picking up the magazine again. Finally seeing the cover, Karkat groaned.

"You do realize your reading a pregnancy magazine,right?" pointed out the bed ridden boy.

"Best piece of reading material ever written man. Hey check this, so apparently a pregnant ladies smell gets better? Fucking wicked." he said reading the article. Rolling his eyes Karkat noticed his dad walk in with a female doctor.

"Thank god your awake! awake." sighed his father rushing over to his sons bedside. "Are you in pain? Can you breathe alright? Have you eaten yet?" was just a few of the questions that where asked by the concerned father.

"Oh relax...just...hyperventilation okay. " Karkat watched as the doctor listened to his breathing and took his pulse.

"He's right! You can go home today if you want. Hey...wheres that red head that's usually with you?" asked the doctor looking around the room. Karkat looked down.

"Yo Doc, not a good think to bring up right now...sensitive topic right now." said Strider, looking a bit to interested in the article in the magazine.

"Oh. Um sorry Karkat. But I'll just let you get ready to head out alright?" the doctor rushed out, embarrassed.

"Just...let me know when you're ready to head out, alright?" sighed Mr. Vantas, placing a hand on his sons shoulder before leaving the room.

Karkat got up and sighed. Terezi was usually here every time he got rushed to the hospital for one reason or another. He started to slowly gather his stuff and left to his rooms bathroom so he could get dressed in peace, seeing as Dave didnt get the hint to leave. In the few seconds of peace he had his mind got distracted to almost a year ago.

_"Karkat! Karkat Vantas! Wake the fuck up already!" wasnt exactly the first words you want to hear after a bad black out in the middle of biology. But the familiar sound of Terezis voice shot through Karkat like wild fire. _

_"Terezi?" Karkats voice was muffled and cracked due to the breathing machine over his mouth and nose._

_"Oh thank GOD! You nearly gave me a heart attack! You asshole that wasn't very nice of you" she sneered crossing her arms._

_"Well excuse me I'll be sure to warn you a week in advance before I pass out okay?" while he was tired that didnt mean he couldnt snap back at Terezi. He didnt need to hear it from her. Especially when his head hurt and it seemed like everything was spinning._

_"That would be much appreciated thank you!" she huffed sitting down in the nearby seat. Then a sudden bark sounded._

_"Oh god you brought the mutt with you" he sneered at the white dog near her side._

_"Mutt? What mutt! I dont see any mutt!" she smirked as she stroked her seeing eye dog._

_"You know that dog hates me." Karakt struggled a bit as he tried to sit up a bit but eventually gave up, flopping back onto the stiff bed._

_"Pyralsprite loves you! Isn't that right girl!" she cackled as the dog responded with the gleeful sound of panting._

_"What are you even doing here?" he asked his patience growing thin._

_"What like you where gonna miss half the day of school and get away with it!' she retorted at him raising an eyebrow._

_"Not like I had much a choice." he really wanted to take this stupid thing off his face but he knew that he would just start feeling light headed again. _

_"How long have i been out?"he asked _

_"Im guesstimating about 6 hours." replied Terezi. Sighing she looked at him with her blank eyes._

_"You really scared us all for a while there._

_"What can i say, Biology bores me to death." he said trying to be funny, only to resive a harsh jab to the arm._

_"WHAT THE FUCK TEREZI! WHO THE FUCKS PUNCHES SOME ONE IN THE HOSPITAL" he yelled rubbing his arm feeling a bruise coming in._

_"That wasnt funny and you know it! You could've died for all we know! But NO! You refuse to tell us jack shit about why you miss school for the damn hospital! You are a FUCKING JACK ASS Karkat Vantas!" Shouted a heated Terezi, tears forming in her eyes. Karkat just stared at her, slightly scared. He had moved away from her cause she was now very close to him. Seeing how upset she was he suddenly realzed why she was so whiled up. Smirking he sat up more so he wouldn't fall off._

_"Was the fearless Terezi Pyrope scared? For my sake?" he said sarcastically. Terezi had always been known for "looking danger in the face and laughing. But here she was on the verge of tears, all cause he was in a hospital._

_"Watch it Vantas before I plant one right on your face! I dont give a shit if your in a hospital be or not"_

_"You wouldnt dare" He breathed glaring at her._

_"Alright you asked for it." she said. Karkats eyes grew wide as he started to cower away from the girl. Only to feel the mask be replaced by Terezi's lips. This was it. Holy shit, Terezi Pyrope, girl of his dreams, pain in his ass, was kissing him, on the lips. Pulling away, he stared at her in awe. Quickly putting the mask back on he glared at her smirking face._

_"THE FUCK WAS THAT" he yelled, his face extremely red._

_"Wow! Are you dense? That, my dear Karkles, was what we call a kiss. Its usually done between two people whoi really like each other. Have you forgotten that?" she said smiling wide in his face. Karkat simply sat there dumbfounded. What do you even say after that?_

_" What,why, what did. How." Was the most constructed thought Karkat could say. Giving him a shit eating grin she turned on her heels and followed her dog out the room._

_" Get out of here alive then come talk to me!" She said making her leave._

"Hey, have you finished putting your face on yet?" Called Dave from behind the bathroom door. Slipping on his shoes, Karkat left the bathroom and groaned.

"Just get me the fuck out of here please." he said leaving the room with Dave behind him.

"Ready to go?" questioned Karkat's father seeing the two boys walk over.

"Can we please? Can't stand it here." Frowned Karkat walking away from everyone. Sharing a silent nod together, both Mr. Vantas and Dave followed the boy out of the hospital.

**AN: Kind of a filler chapter I guess. Stuff might pick up soon though! Sorry for the wait. But i should be back in action now :D Please leave reviews, ask question at my tumblr ( Hiddensidekick) and spread the word if you can it'll mean so much :) lots of love ~ HSK**


	7. Chapter 7: It Had to Be Done

"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR EVER LOVING MIND?" Sounded through the the cafeteria causing everyone to go silent. Sollux was up and leaning his hands on the table. Karkat looked unaffected by this. He just stared at him and rolled his eyes.

"Sit your ass down Captor, you look like more of a fool then you usually do."muttered Karkat. Groaning Sollux covered his face with his hands. Eridan sat by with his arms crossed.

"Kar, Take a moment and think this shit over. You cant HONESTLY be thinking of seeing Gam in jail are you?"

"Yeah. I am. Hes my friend remember? "

"This could only lead to disaster I hope you realize this!" exclaimed Sollux. Looking down at the floor he thought for just a split second. He's probably right. Why should he even consider Gamzee a friend any more?

"Its just something I have to do alright! You don't have to like it. And I'm not asking you to! Just drop is cause after school I'm heading over alright?" he finally said giving up on having them see why this is important to him. Eridan and Sollux just glanced at each other and shook their heads before the bell rang for the end of lunch. Grabbing his stuff he rushed out and left his other two friends behind.

Walking away from his school, the last thing he wanted was company. But sure enough here came walking up Kanaya with Rose in tow.

"And where do you think your going?" questioned Kanaya walking besides her shorter friend. Rolling his eyes he slightly growled at her.

"Not in the mood for this Kanaya." he said trying to pick up speed.

"Well no need to run from us Karkat. We happen to be heading to my house which is in this general direction you know." said Rose in her typical know it all tone.

"I hope you know I hate when you and your brother are right." groaned Karkat allowing the girls to catch up to him.

"And Sollux did happen to inform us of your plan to visit Gamzee" Replied Kanaya, walking with her arms crossed.

"Oh Jeeze, are you two gonna gonna try and talk me out of it to? Cause I know its hard to get through all your thick skulls but I just need to do this alright?"

"We understand that Karkat. But we are concerned for you."

"Agreed. And based on my observations I think maybe you should hold off on this visit." warned Rose.

"Oh NO! Don't go all "Psycho Annalist" on me Rose! I hate that bullshit and you know it."

"Be quiet Karkat and allow Rose to explain" ordered Kanaya, lips pursed and eyes stern. Karkat sighed and turned his attention to the blonde girl. The three of them continued to walk as Rose started to talk and explain.

"Thank you. Now Karkat. You're always one to act on impulse and emotion. And loss is an extremely strong emotion. We just don't want you to do any thing brash." explained Rose

"And considering how when you first heard of Gamzee's arrest you spent an evening in a hospital bed." continued Kanaya. Karkat nodded a bit and groaned a bit.

"What? You think I'm gonna fall into a coma cause I'm gonna see my friend?"

"Not exactly...more of a..."

"Spazztic case of curse words and flailing."

"In all honesty we are quite surprised you still call Gamzee your friend after all this." Said Kanaya.

"I know. Everyone has already told me that...but. I don't think I can stop considering my friend you know?"

"Well. That may change after today Karkat." confessed Rose. Stopping dead in his tracks Karkat thought for a moment before turning to face the girl.

"You think I don't know that? Do you really think I believe that me and Gamzee can continue after all this bullshit? I don't! Like fuck. I would love to be the one to personally slap his stupid clown face! Maybe some how make him feel what I'm feeling right now? You have no god damn CLUE how much hate him right now!" ranted Karkat, the girls just staring with frowns on their faces.

"But, for some god forsaken reason here I am! Marching my sorry ass to see him! Why? Who the fuck knows! I sure as hell don't! Do I wanna believe there's still a sane human being in him? Yeah. But there's probably not and probably never was! Yet I'm about to see my "FRIEND" Gamzee." Karkat at this point was insanly red in this face, ready to explode.

"Please calm down Karkat. We know this is upsetting and that's why we are here to talk to you!" said Kanaya trying hard to keep him calm. Rose simply sighed and nodded.

"That is true Karkat. We do believe this may be something you need to do. But we also want you to be rational about a few things."

"He wasn't the slightest bit rational about what he did. Why the hell should I?"

"Cause you have the ability to be rational while Gamzee lacks that essential part of function." explained Rose.

"Please just. Be careful." Begged Kanaya. Karkat hadn't realized he had reached the towns jail. Karkat looked up at it eyes wide and slightly afraid. Looking back at his two friends, they nodded at him and both walked away.

"Call me when you finish alright. Wanna make sure your alright." insisted Kanaya

"Your not my mom!"

"Shut up and do as I ask." barked Kanaya giving him a quick glare

"Yes ma'am" he whispered. Getting a curt nod in response, Karkat quickly walked into the brick building, prepared for the worse.

After a bout 45 minutes of strict searching and mind numbing questions a guard finally took him to the Visitors room. A wall of windows and phones separating the small room in half. The female guard pointed to one of the chairs and closed the door behind him Karkat slowly waled in the empty room, seeing no other visitors. There was a guard on what he presumed to be where the prisoners would be.

Sitting in silence for a few moments he only looked up at the sound of the opening door.

There he was. Gamzee Makara.

He was hardly recognizable with out his weird clown make up on. He had this dopey look on his face and just kept looking around the room like nothing was wrong. He only stopped hen he spotted Karkat sitting in the chair, arms crossed and just glaring at him. Karkat was looking at the face of a murderer. And he was smiling at him through the glass.

"Hey motherfucker! Long time no see my man!" chuckled Gamzee smiling wide.

"Yeah...long fucking time" snarled Karkat. What are you supposed to say? Not like he was quite in the mood for small talk. Gamzee still had the usual high as fuck look on his face. Karkat always found it annoying. But now it was just down right irritating and despicable.

"Man, you should try dome of the grub in here! Not as bad as they all say" said Gamzee, trying to hard to act like this was okay.

"Knock it the fuck up dip shit your in jail. Shit how are you so cheery. Its down right agonizing." snapped Karkat finally sitting up to get as close as he could to the window separating the two. Finally Gamzee's smile diapered.

"Your pretty mad at me aren't you my brother?" asked a solemn Gamzee. His eyes looked at Karkat looking sorrowful actually.

"Do you even have any fucking clue what you did?" scolded Karkat. It was like yelling at a puppy. A tall, thin, murderous puppy.

"I know I fucked up real bad Karbro."

"Oh no. What you did wasn't a fuck up. This you can fix with no amount of "im fucking sorry bro". Not in a million fucking years! You didn't fuck up Gamzee. You actually fucking KILLED some one. And not just anybody no. You just had to go and kill Terezi. Shes the whole damn reason I got up in the morning! And you know what you did? You smashed her head in. And here you sit not feeling bad about a god damn thing about it." shouted Karkat. Some of the guards stood on alert, fearing the small boy might actually do some harm. He was on his feet, huffing and panting at this point.

"Listen here Gamzee Makara. If our friendship ever meant JACK to you, you're gonna answer this question now with complete and utter honesty. Do you understand me?" said Karkat looking his friend in the eyes. This was what hes been wondering for the past week and a half. This week in hell.

"Why?" Was it. A one word question that unlocked the truth. That was the whole reason why he got the balls to drag himself out to this end of town. Outside he could hear the beginnings of a thunderstorm. Gamzee looked down for a moment. And when he looked up again, his eyes changed. they weren't sleepy or half closed like usual. They where sharp, cold, terrifying. The grin across his face sent a shiver down down Karkats back. This. This was the last face Terezi saw. A monster.

"Oh man my brother," rasped the boy behind the glass. "It was like the mirthful gods above opened up a light of opportunity. There she was all alone. And then it clicked. This annoying bitch could be out of my life for good. Not like Karbros here to stop me or keep me down like he always does. You're like a motherfucking weight keeping me from doing what I'm supposed to do. Always telling me to calm my shit and stop acting like such a gad damn fool. No my brother I wasnt the fool. You where. And so was Terezi. It felt so god damn right! Her screams, how she tried to fight me, hearing her skull crack." he paused and laughed at the memory. Like it was the best thing that ever happened to him.

"And now I don't need to worry about her. Or you trying to 'calm me down' or 'keep me out of trouble'. And you where never there when I needed you. Thought my problems where some drug induced babbling. But no. You never gave a shit. You where my best motherfucking friend! But all you did was see me as some one who needed to be kept in line and watched. I never asked you to do that for me brother. And yet. You DID!" he slammed his hands on the table and stood up. Karkat just stood there in fear for his life. Two guards rushed in to try and keep Gamzee calmed and restrained. He shook off most of the rage induced fit just in time for them to stop in their tracks.

"Now your not holding me back. And that's just fine with me motherfucker. The messiahs have spoken and I've done as they told me. And you cant stop me ever again" he said with a laugh. Eventually the guards took hold of Gamzee and lead him away.

"Till next time, Karbro" was the last words Karkat heard. Karkat was just standing in the middle of the room. Scared to move. Scared to breath. Gamzees words echoing in his head. If...if he had been at that stupid party...kept the two of them from even talking...Terezi would be here. Not dead. Alive and breathing. And maybe if he had been a better friend to Gamzee. Just tried to listen to him more and not be a shitty friend. He only snapped back to reality when the guard shook him a bit to let him know it was time for him to leave. Nodding he gathered his things and followed her outside to jail. Nodding at her and watching the door close he stood for a few moments. It was raining down pretty heavy at this point. But the first thing Karkat did was run. Run as fast as he could. You couldn't tell tears from rain. He ran as he remembered every word Gamzee said. His heart was tight but he didn't care. Running under stress was the last thing he should be doing. He ran past his own house down a few more blocks. He needed to talk to someone and for some reason his family wasn't who he wanted. Neither was Dave, who was closer to the jail. No. Stopping in front of a large green house he knocked violently on the door, completely drenched. Seeing the door open he looked up at the face of Ms. Leijon. She was confused and already in a robe and pajamas.

"Karkat? Dear lord what in Gods Na-"

"Terezi is dead cause I'm a shitty human being!" was all he could say before collapsing to the floor crying in the rain.

**AN: So...holy fuck im almost to 500 veiws on this piece of crap...should i do something? fuck if i know. but really this is great thank you so much :D Ill be sure to post another chapter with details on weather or not im doing anything (idk its not definate) when i most defiantly him 500. SO i shat this hunk of a chapter out in one day...GO ME. Remember Questions, thoughts (and maybe fan art if you have any) go to my Tumblr HiddenSidekick! Thanks again! ~HSK**


	8. Chapter 8: Blame and Truth

"Which Kankri is this? Jr.? Yeah its Diana. Can you get me your dad? Its about Karkat...hes at my house. Just give the phone to your father already!" Karkat heard Ms. Leijon talking on the phone in the kitchen. Karkat sat in her living room wrapped in multiple towels and blankets. Nepeta was assumed to be in her room doodling. Karkat didnt bother asking. Her older sister Meulin came in with some kind of warm drink. Looking up at the older girl he nodded a quick thanks, even though he didn't touch it. Finally walking in from the kitchen was their mother.

"Telling your father that you where going to Sollux's house is becoming quite an over used lie, don't you think?" She said crossing his arms.

"Not my fault he always falls for it." mumbled Karkat through the towels. Sighing, the older women walked to the seat across from where Karkat was sitting, leaning her elbows on her knees. Karkat avoided even looking at her. He was soaking wet and pissed off at the world...and himself.

"I was hoping you would come see me. But not at 8:30 at night" she said with a smile. Karkat just pulled the towel closer.

"Karkat, why did you go see him?" she finally asked. Looking up to meet her green eyes he frowned. Hes known this women for at least 2 years now. She comes over a lot and he actually can stand her. He assumes since shes alright with his dad she has to be okay.

"I needed answers...I knew i wasn't gonna like what i heard...but I needed to know either way"

"What made you think it was you fau-"

"Cause im a shitty person and a shitty friend" he interrupted. "I thought i established this"

"Care to elaborate?"

"He...he said i never listened to him...how he had problems...and i wasnt there for him. And he was right." Karkats mind suddenly remembered every instanse hes brushed Gamzee away like he was a gnat.

"I shouldve taken him seriously"

"Yes you should have."

"Arnt you supposed to help make me better and not make me feel more like shit?"

"Would you rather me sugar coat it and lie to you?" asked Ms. Leijon raising an eyebrow.

"No" muttered Karkat, pulling the towels closer to himself.

"Good, now any way, its not fair for you to put all the blame on yourself Karkat"

"And why is that?" he said narrowing his eyes and glaring at the women

"Nothing you could have said would stop Gamzee's homicidal tendencies"

"And how would you know? He wouldn't have done it if I was there in the first place!"

"No, but it might have happened to some one else Karkat." Ms. Leijon was keeping calm and it was slightly unsettling. But shes been dealing with this all week. Shes probably used to it by now.

"Gamzee was a psychopath...like you hear all the time on TV. But this is real life and those people do exist. Its horrible that you had to be personally affected by this. But there was nothing that you could do to stop him from snapping and hurting some a tragedy that it had to be Terezi. Put you cant put the blame on yourself" she continued. She made her way over to Karkat, wrapping her arm around him to try and comfort him.

"There had to have been something I couldve done though. Anything."

"Your a 17 year old boy Karkat. There is only so much you can do! And I'm sorry, but that isn't much" she tried to reason with him. Shaking his head, Karkat narrowed his eyes a bit at her.

"No, theres always something. But im to much of a dense fuck to ever do something about it!"

"Nobody expects you to fix everyone's problems Karkat."

"No but if I can I should be able to!" he snapped.

"You are a child Karkat. I know you don't want to be seen as one, but you are. No matter how much you grow up you will never have all the answers. And nobody should expect you to." sighed the women. Pulling the towels closer to him.

"Being a kid sucks."

"well thats the understatement of the century" she said with a small smile.

"But Karkat you have to understand. You shouldn't be expected to grow up so fast after this. You and Terezi should have lived a long healthy life. And Gamzee took that away from both of you" she sighed sadly. Karkat nodded slightly. But he still felt heavy with guilt.

"But... But what if I was there! I could've prevented this! If...if she wasn't alone." Karkat insisted.

"Life is gonna be full of those moments Karkat. Moments where things could have been completely different if only certain points or instances had changed. But those moments cant be changed once they happen. We dont have a magical box that can take us back and change them. And even then it would probably be frowned upon" she explained. It did make sense to Karkat of course. He simply nodded. He didnt want to accept it.

"I still feel shitty. I just..always brushed Gamzee off...like he wasn't important. And he was...but I'm just a shitty friend." Karkat buried his face in his hands. "I have to be the literal worst friend to ever exist"

"No your not!" Cried out a hiding Nepeta. Karkats head shot up, seeing the face of the girl. He remembered back when they where in middle school she had a weird crush on him. She eventually got over it. Nepeta still cared for plenty him plenty, often asking him about his day when he was extra crabby.

"Nepeta? How long have you been standing there?" asked her surprised mother.

"the whole time. Im just very sneaky thank you" she said, particularly proud of her self. Walking forward Nepetas face grew serious. She got down on her knees in front of him.

"Now listen here Karkat. You are not a bad friend. You are possibly the best friend ever. Gamzee...Gamzee's problems weren't fixable. But that dosnt make you a bad person. You care for everyone...you just have a funny way of showing it some times. You try hard to be there for us! And when...when Terezi died we wanted to be there for you. Just like your there for us. I'm sorry your just don't see how great of a friend you are." Nepeta placed her hand on Karkats face. Karkat froze as he allowed her to wrap her arms around him. Returning the hug he dug his face into her neck, crying. He realized how much his friends meant to him. And how much he meant to them. Nepeta whispered small shushes as she smoothed the back of his hair down. He might have not been there for Gmazee when he really needed him, but he promised to himself right then that it wont happen again. He will not brush his friends away. Not cause he wanted to preventthis from happening, cause he couldnt have. But cause hes a friend.

The three of them looked up hearing a knock at the door. Sighing Ms. Leijon stood up.

"That would be your dad. Come on Karkat." she said as she left the room. Karkat stood up and shed the layers of blankets. Turning to Nepeta, he smiled a bit. Giving her a quick hug before turning to leave, he waved.

"Thank you." was all that was said.

"No Purroblem!" she said. Karkat never thought he would actually miss the cat puns. Walking to the front door of their house. Their stood his dad, who looked tired as hell. Sighing when he saw his drenched son he shook his head.

"Im sorry again Diana. I hope he wasnt to bothersome" apoligized Mr. Vantas. Giving him a quick chuckle she smiled.

"Oh please. You know me. He was having some...issues. And I was happy to help. All that matters is that hes better. Right Karkat?" she asked.

"Uh, yeah sure." he said quickly. Kinda feeling childish.

"Either way thank you. Now to get the little shit home before he gets sick" Laughed Mr. Vantas. He gave the women a quick kiss good bye and lead his younger son out the door.

"Come back when ever! Its an open door policy here at the Leijons!' Called out the cheerful women before closing the door behind the two Vantas boys.

**AN: So this took to long cause i had two rewrite some parts all over cause it fucked up . And i completly missed the 500 mark and am now at nearly 600! Holy crap is that great! Thnk you alot guys! So the usual, review, leave stuff at my tumblr yadda yadda yadda. If you have fanart two you would be my best friend for ever! but either way the story is coming to a close very soon and hope you stick around to see it :) ~HSK**


	9. Chapter 9: The Worst Of Times

There's something absolutely morbid about the fact that they decided today was the funeral. Today of all days. 1 Year ago today. Happy fucking anniversary.

"They couldn't have moved it up or back a day or so are you kidding me!" Screamed Karkat, allowing his father to tie his tie. His father simply shook his head and sighed, looking at his son. Karkat was sick with how much he and his dad looked like, right down to the red brown eyes and their messy hair. It was moments like this though where Karkat could clearly see it. They both has solemn faces and pained hearts.

"I know this is gonna be hard for you...but just...its like saying good-bye."

"That's bull shit"

"Yeah I know but I thought it would help." Responded his father with a sad smile. Kankri poked his head in and frowned, in one of his signature sweaters, only in black this time.

"Can I recommend hurrying so we aren't late?" he asked. He sounded like usual, flat plain and overly offical. But Karkat knew he was trying to hard keep his own voice from trembling.

"That sounds good Kankri, go get in the car alright." instructed his father, brushing his eldest son off. When Kankri left, Mr. Vantas turned and got down to Karkats eye level, his hands gripped his sons shoulders.

"I honestly don't tell you often enough how proud I am of you...but you know I am right?"

"I haven't done anything to make you proud so there's not exactly a point in telling me"

"You havn't killed anyone through out all this so there's always that" responded the grown man. Scoffing, Karkat's shoulders slumped, not amused at all.

"Alright, sorry. But listen up okay. Just know that whatever happens today, I'm really proud of you." Mr. Vantas gave his son a smile, full of pride in his son. Karkat nodded. He never saw himself as someone to be proud of. Just a bit of an angry asshole and a bit of a burden. Karkat nodded at his father before feeling him hug his son tight. Karkat returned the hug and nodded.

"Ready short stuff?" Asked the father as he started to lead his son out.

"Uh, yeah just let me grab something. Karkat rushed quickly to his room. Walking in he grasped a piece of paper off the table and hurried back. Stuffing the crumpled paper in his pocket he returned to his confused father.

"Okay, I'm good...well...as good as I can be I suppose." Karkat walked ahead of his dad and out the door, mentally preparing himself.

Karkat stood before a large framed photo of Terezi. She was smiling bright and looked like she was living life to the fullest. Along in the photo was her dog, Pyralsprite. Karkat never understood that name. But he never questioned it either. Just would sound like a name Terezi would give to a dog. Karkat and many other people attending the service where in the lobby of the church, the actual procession starting very soon. A few feet was the casket holding Terezi's body. They kept it closed the whole time, probably cause her face was still scratched and wasnt able to returned to normal. Karkat just glanced at it, uneasy. Feeling something brush against his leg there was the big white dog on the picture. Holding the leash was Latula.

"Hey NcNubs." she said quietly. Giving a sad smile at her he nodded.

"Hey...You doing alright?"

"I'm...I'm getting to alright you know? Rezi was my sis man...its not easy"

"Your preaching to the choir" sighed karkat

"Thats your brothers job" she smiled, causing a small laugh from Karkat.

"Did you...you know...say bye?" she asked motioning to the white casket.

"N-no...not exactly sure if I ...can" he said. Hes seen numbers of people go and say good bye to the body.

"Well maybe you should...just...just before shes gone...ya know?" she suggested. Karkat nodded, getting a look at the white dog, laying in front of the pictures of Terezi.

"Yeah...I'm gonna miss her too." he said petting the dog between the ears.

"Well, if your gonna say bye...better do it quick...things starting soon."

"Thanks Latula...I'll see you later." He said giving the girl a quick wave. Looking over he saw how no one was over and made his move. Walking over slowly he sighed as he stood in front of the white casket. He almost wanted to open it. One last good look at her. But no that would be fucking weird.

"Um...hey" he said aloud. He could feel the looks of pity shoot through him like an arrow.

"So your gonna miss a few things ya know...Like today...its been a year you know...I managed to not fuck up for a year... though I probably have fucked up at some point who am I kidding...but ya know there was probably a lot to come...that your not gonna experience now...graduation...law school...your first case...get-getting married...kids. But its to late now. Ill probably end up seeing you soon...not to soon...dont get impatient on me alright...but just...ya gotta wait... Now I have to go talk about you infront of all these people...go damn it...just... Happy Anniversary Terezi." he thought to himself. He didnt want all the people behind him know how sappy he was. Just as he finished he heard every one start to get ready for the actual service. Every one filed into the church except for Terezi's family . The stood there and waited for their cue before they filed inside, behind the casket.

It was almost unsettling to be in an actual church. The lights felt like Gods eyes just staring down on you judging you for all you've done. The stained glass windows with angels didn't help the feeling of being judged either. Maybe this was just how Karkat felt about it. Everyone else was sitting pretty intently as the priest talked about "Being welcomed to the kingdom of heaven" and "a child of God had gone back home". Karkat never understood how his dad could stand teaching this stuff. He only imagined how boring it was being a theology professor. His dad knew what everything meant. Karkat could care less.

"I would like to welcome up Karkat to come share some parting words about Terezi" announced the priest steeping away from the pedestal to allow Karkat to speak. Feeling his dad pat him on the back he sighed as he made his way up. He pulled out 2 sheets of paper. and stared. Front row was Latula and her mother. Scattered across the chapel was all his friends and a few of their siblings. Clearing his throat he sighed as he prepared to speak.

"Terezi...she was in a class all of her own. Loved to laugh...though if you ask any one it was more of a cackle." he said getting started. A few small smiled and laughed . He could do this...he got this.

"A year ago today... I landed myself in the hospital...again. And what better to wake up to then to Terezi. And shes been there for me ever since. She was there for every one. She want nothing more then to be with the people she cared most about. If some form of wrong doing was done to her or her friends she would go out of her way to see that justice was dealt with...She...she was he own miracle I suppose. And...and we are gonna miss her." his voice was crackling in various places. He wasnt gonna cry,not again,not in front of everyone. He tried hard to hide it as he wasnt done. Choking back the tears he shook his head as he started again.

"Like i said...it would be our 1 year anniversary. And i was going to ...was going to give this to her. I knew she probably would've laughed and said how much of a sap i was...but it wouldn't...wouldn't feel right with out having her hear it..." he tried to flatten out the sheet of paper that had be stuffed in his pocket last minute. Looking out to the audience he some how made eye contact with Dave...who even when in a church he had to wear thous shades. Getting a small nod in approval, Karkat looked down as he opened his mouth to speak. But no words would come out. But tears fell. He couldnt. He thought he could. He had to for Terezi. Burying the palms of his hands into his eys he wiped away the tears.

"No..I cant. Not now." he whispered to himself. He was to preoccupied with crying he didnt hear the small footsteps make their way to his side. Feeling a hand grasp his own his head shot up. Nepeta stood there, her own eyes tears stained with a sad smile. He suddenly pulled her close, digging his face into his neck. More footsteps came forward. Soon all of his friends surrounded him. Many of them allowing themselves to cry along with him. Showing clearly how much they cared for him...and how much they would miss Terezi. Karkat looked up at all his friends. He was never so grateful in his life for friends like them. Theyve been their since the start and would probably be here till the end. He wraped his arms around as many of them as he could. Who he couldnt fit huged the rest on their own.

"Come on Vantas lets not make a fool of yourself now." Whispered Strider. Karkat nodded as he looked back to the crying audience. Clearing his throat he sighed.

"Now as a was saying" he looked down as he began to speak

"_Having you with me_

_Theres no place I'd rather be_

_With you cackling and laughing_

_with me ranting and raging_

_You where there for my worst_

_I was there for your best_

_Now this may seem cliche _

_(But you expect from me anyway)_

_But with the worst of times gone_

_My best of times with you, is where I belong" _

He read of the paper, his friends still surrounding him. Reading this now he realized that yes. He wrote this all with Terezi in mind. But now, with his friends surrounding him, This could go out to them to. All of them here with him. They all tried one way or another to stick by him while this happened. This was the worst of what his life has been so far. But now he couldnt wait for the better times to roll around so he could enjoy them with his friends. He wanted to thank them all. But that would have to wait. Karkat gave the audiance a simple nod as he lead all of his friends back to their respective spots. Karkat wipes more tears from his eyes. as he sat through the rest of the service. Finally ready for good bye. Good bye to Terezi and good bye the the worst of times.

**AN: Thats it guys last chapter thank you all for looking at this :D it means alot since this was my first real big fanfic. please continue to tell me if it was good and what i need to work on. Thank you all so much!~HSK**


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